I ask myself this question A LOT. I speak it out to the universe and pray to God over it.
But what does normal REALLY look like? It doesn't look like me - that's for certain!
But what is normal for the spider is absolute chaos for the fly.
Which has me thinking about it even more! This is absolute chaos for me and for those closest to me. So who, or what, is it normal for?
Satan.
Plain and simple.
God has shown the beginning of His glory when He saved my life, it's up to me to be a faithful servant and continue to show His glory.
Which brings me to the topic of my therapies!
For Pt, we learned that I walk flat footed, with my left ankle rolled in, and cautiously with my arms out to the sides as if to brace myself in case I fall.
We started working on me walking normal. Heel to toe. Open my hips. Because I'm still quite rigid.
Then we worked on the dreaded stairs! I still have to use handrails for this, but I can at least go UP the steps one right after the other! This makes it easier and more fluid. Now going DOWN the steps is another piece to the story. We found that I turn sideways, with most of my weight supported on the right side, AND I cautiously take one step at a time. This method takes longer and I'm not as fluid! I have to keep practicing on my stairs at home.
We then worked on my balance, as this is the greatest problem I have! We did chair exercises where I stand up big and tall and then seat myself WITHOUT using anything to help me get seated. That is one of my homework pieces as well.
We also walked with TWO trekking poles, as I love going trail walking at my house. But ever since I fell, I haven't been able to do it since. The two poles worked well and we have two of them at home, so I will try my trail walking again!
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Now onto OT. This is my first time working with him and he wanted to get to know me and then wanted to know HOW I had my strokes. I told him about me and told him I simply fell. The rest you all have heard and I told him. He apologized profusely as if someone close to me had died - which in a sense, the old me did die.
With the approval of my doctor telling me to try and use my eyes as much as I can to regain strength - we did just that! Eye exercises galore.
We did lateral eye movements - which are my downfall as I can't move my eyes laterally - but I did make SMALL movements! I'll take it! At one time, he noticed my eyes were aligned and he asked me, do you see single or double right now?
SINGLE!!!!
The excitement! I nearly jumped across the table to hug him and cry...but that would've been weird. Definitely FAR from normal. We gave my eyes much needed breaks here and there. Whenever my eyes water profusely, he could tell that's when I needed breaks.
We did "pencil pushers." And that was an interesting exercise. Lastly, we did diagonal exercises!!! My right side is definitely the hardest for this. But we could at least identify my weaker points and what I need to work on more.
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Lastly, my speech. She taught me so much that I can actually apply to everything else! She told me that I am in control of my speech and how I enunciate things. She told me to correct my posture, speak slowly, and loudly - so my speech is clearer. It's up to me to correct myself in the moment when something doesn't come out right. I am to stop myself, and say it more clearer, and keep going with my speech. We definitely practiced this.
Then we also did exercises with tongue depressors and she gave me a stash of those to take home and keep practicing!
Overall, I learned it's up to ME to correct myself. Not to worry about others and slowing them down. My brain is damaged and to heal it and teach it properly, I need to correct the imperfections I put out. That is how I can properly heal.
At the end of the therapies, I waited for my ride to show up. I get rides through a government agency. The lady is absolutely delightful!! We talked about our futures and what my future business plan looks like. We talked about her job and how she got into helping others. She told me about her brother who had a stroke in his 60s. I asked if he was okay!! She assured me he was but he has right-sided paralysis. I do pray he works through how to live out his life normally with this change.
To everyone, normal looks different.
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