Why?

This is a LOADED question with many different answers. I swear I ask this question daily as I wrestle with my inner self.

I'm about to get real vulnerable here. Let's look at John 9:1-5 👇🏻:

”As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”“

‭‭John‬ ‭9‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I was given this passage by a good friend - and I swear she meant nothing but kindness! Giving me that sense of reassurance that this chapter of my book has a genuine purpose.

Can I tell you how I felt when reading this?

I was ANGRY. Not at the sweet soul who gifted this to me and not at God. But man was I feeling the rage.

At one point I screamed out loud - "why couldn't I glorify God before my accident?!" WHY?!

Then even more questions came out. Why this? Why me? Why is there always something new to hurdle?

I felt compelled to read the book of Job. If you haven't yet, you should.

I was finishing my season of grief when I received this, and then it hurled me back to the storms of anger. I barely talked to anyone, I withdrew from my pastor - who I had been talking to quite regularly, I bottled all inside of me.

I'm through this season of anger, and quite frankly, I made it through the five cycles of grief. But all with the guidance and support of my good, good father. My God.

Picture of me now is 👇🏻. I swear I'm smiling BIG! I, at least, felt it in my face!

Pictured 👇🏻 is me before my accident.