Let me just say that my women are so wonderful!! Giving me rides to and from. Making sure that I get around safely outside.
I was so nervous, as this retreat was the first time I spent a day and a night away from my husband! For those who don’t know, he is also my caregiver.
This weekend was absolutely remarkable and I thank the women for making it all possible!! In a later post I will talk more about it. But I would love to share my speech. Yes, I spoke on the first night! I’m glad my words…which are Gods words…really resonated with some of the women. I was thanked for sharing throughout the weekend!
Now enjoy a photo of our new hatchling!
Before I get into what God has done for me this past year, let me just say that God has done so much for me and I feel honored, blessed, and truly grateful to be standing before you all tonight.
Hi! I’m Jess. Now let me be real for a moment. This past year I have been finishing the grief process.Grieving over the loss of myself, grieving over the loss of my parents, grieving over the loss of my sisters, and grieving over the loss of my family as a whole. For the past year I have leaned heavily on Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you. Declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”God has been guiding me through the grief process. For ten months I was in the denial phase. Jess one year ago would have told you that by the fall of last year I would be driving, finishing my last semester of school, and have an internship at our local funeral home.
In the beginning, I kept pleading with God to please change what has happened. Make it all go away and heal me overnight. I mean, He does have the power. With God, all things are possible. I’ve learned that God doesn’t want me to suffer “just because”. He is guiding me through all of these storms. A woman in my new community sent me a bible verse that has helped her. She’s been disabled all her life, and she turns to this passage whenever she is feeling a little bit low. John 9:1-5, basically states that Jesus and His disciples were passing by a blind man. They asked Him who sinned? This man or his parents? Jesus said neither. He is the way that He is to show the true glory of God. Then after that was said, Jesus healed the man. Over time, I have changed my pleas from change these things to…God change ME so I can better handle the storms you are guiding me through.
I have truly learned that in this new community, there are a lot of people who are angry with what they have. So angry that they have turned from God, because how could He let this happen to them? God has been guiding me into the lives of these people. I had one woman come to me because of my positivity and asked me to show her how to be positive. How I find my positivity. Boy have I been showing her! God is our waymaker.
When Pastor Blake spoke sermons of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I felt led to dig into it more and even try to connect it with the life I am leading now. Jesus opens with what it means to flourish, of how to be blessed. Suffice it to say, these attributes were not the list everyone was expecting; rather, they paint a very different picture of the good life than the one we tend to long for. Jesus said You are blessed if you are poor in spirit, if you mourn, if you are meek, if you hunger and thirst for righteousness, if you are merciful, if you are pure in heart, if you are a peacemaker, and if you are persecuted because of your righteousness.
To some that I have talked about in my community, these may look like curses rather than blessings. To the world, these attributes may look like weakness and disability and being held back from living the best life, but according to the way of Jesus, these are the routes to finding God most fully.
There are people who are “normal” and come to me and openly state that they don’t want to air their complaints to me. Because compared to what I’ve been through, their complaints are trivial. But I am here to say tonight, don’t get stuck in the comparison trap. We ALL struggle. Some maybe more than others and I recognize that. I have met some people who have injuries far greater than mine. We ALL struggle. But it’s important to lean in closer to God so He can help get you through the storms of your season. All storms are used for the greater good of God.
He has been working in me and I feel so different, in a good way of course. He has opened so many doors in my healing. I am in five different therapies every week. The ones that I have to travel to, I was approved to use a transportation service in Harrisonburg. He has opened doors to heal my eyes through multiple surgeries. He has graciously given me the opportunity to lead a support group meeting with other brain injury survivors to talk about positivity and how I have found it through God. He has taken the negative out of my life and put in the positive. My faith family has grown and become my family. The wonderful spiritual love has been a huge blessing in my life.
I am now reading the Bible for the second time, and it’s like new truths keep popping out at me. One of the strokes I had was the thalamic stroke and it damages your memories. So far, I know that my long term memory has been severely damaged. There’s so much I don’t remember in the past and even in history.
But do you know who I remembered as soon as I woke up… God. He has never left my thoughts and I want to soak up all His truths in the Bible. I want to show others that God really is miraculous and wonderful. He will never forsake His children. He loves us so much. When He nudges us to do something, it is up to us to respond to that nudge. He will open every door for you. Simply ask the right questions. God…change me so I can handle the storms better.
Next step in glorifying our Father and helping others is to open a nonprofit. I am still in the beginning stages, but I remind myself daily - all on His time. I will end my talk with you all with a passage from 1 John 4:4; you, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
תגובות