You know that moment when you make progress, only to venture back further?
Oh yes, with TBI this is a constant feeling now.
They have surgically placed my PEG tube and put staples in my stomach. They will visit me again in two weeks to look at having the staples removed! The now me is telling you, YES, you can tell there were staples in place and there is a HUGE scar. Actually, in this particular spot, there's not just ONE huge scar but TWO.
Anyways, OT and PT have visited me with my father and husband present. I was extremely weak this go around with pain in my head and abdomen. PT had me roll, sit up, and lay down. With all of these tasks I needed total assistance. When I needed to stand up, I donned my beautiful helmet, and I stood for about five seconds and swayed back and forth the entire time! My score with this whole exercise was a six out of ten. Which is still okay for discharge. But they want my score higher!
With OT I didn't speak at all and kept closing my eyes. They said I only used one finger for pointing things out and only answered questions with two choice answers. I needed assistance with washing my face. But overall, she stated I was weak because of the pain I was in following surgery.
Can I talk for a second about meeting Jesus?
It was when I was in my coma and I'm really not sure when I woke up from that. I don't remember a thing from UVA, and I don't remember the first two weeks of Sheltering Arms. But goodness do I remember meeting Christ!
It was a beautiful, sunny day. The view in front of me was BEAUTIFUL! Absolutely breathtaking and I really have nothing to compare it to. I was standing on top of a small hill and there were so many trees in front of me. Between me and the trees there was a small creek flowing wonderfully. I looked over to my right a little bit and there was a man standing at the creek. He turned his head to the left to look at me and I knew INSTANTLY that this man was Jesus!! I ran down the hill and fell at his feet. I remember worshiping him and crying to him. He softly put his hand to my cheek and ran his fingers down to my chin. He lifted so I would look up at him and I gazed into his beautiful eyes. He said something to me, and I woke up in the hospital and hooked up to a bunch of machines. He wanted me to be alive for a GOOD reason, and I am here to glorify the Father!
In "Songs of Suffering", Joni writes, "Like a tenderhearted lover, God pulls us in the same magnetic way, saying, "Seek my face," and we rise to respond, "Your face, Lord, do I seek" (Ps. 27:8). Our suffering awakens even greater tenderness in Christ, for "the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (ps. 34:18). A sufferer cannot help but sense this and responds under the Lord's sweet smile, drawn into his eyes of compassion (Num. 6:25; Ps. 33:18). A sufferer is sensitive to the Lord's loving touch, for "though I walk in the midst of trouble...your right hand delivers me" (Ps. 138:7). Suffering has the capacity to mysteriously strengthen the love we have for our Lord!"
I will end this posting with a beautiful hymn titled, "When We All Get to Heaven."
1 Sing the wondrous love of Jesus,
Sing His mercy and His grace;
In the mansions bright and blessed
He'll prepare for us a place.
Refrain:
When we all get to heaven,
what a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
we'll sing and shout the victory!
2 While we walk the pilgrim pathway Clouds will overspread the sky; But when trav'ling days are over Not a shadow, not a sigh. [Refrain]
3 Let us then be true and faithful,
Trusting, serving ev'ry day;
Just one glimpse of Him in glory
Will the toils of life repay. [Refrain]
4 Onward to the prize before us!
Soon His beauty we'll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open–
We shall tread the streets of gold. [Refrain]
And I will end this post with a picture I found of Jesus. This is the closest image I could find that really looks like him. This picture was apparently (I found out AFTER I posted the picture on social media) painted by an 8-year-old who sees Jesus. She did an AMAZING job!
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